Run!

Freya and I got to the airport way earlier than we needed to, and with only carry on bags. We wanted to take advantage of the lounge and have a bite to eat and a drink or two before the short flight to the Gold Coast.

I hate being late for anything. It gives me anxiety. The airport is even worse, so I was happy to be there early. Freya and I have this in common, and we have both had, or have partners who do not share this need. We swapped stories about how irritating last minute partners are, and how we sometimes, perhaps, on occasion, wished for them to miss their flight just to teach them a lesson. As we shit talked, we kept our eyes on the board, compulsively checking the flight status like the nut jobs we are.

The clock hit 12:55. Boarding time. Freya and I finished our last sips and gathered our things. Still laughing, at the expense of the last minuters in our lives, and feeling fairly superior, I hear Freya gasp, “Final call!”

The clock read 12:56. FINAL CALL!?

Are you fucking kidding me, were the words I believe immediately flew out of my mouth. Instant panic. We flew down the escalator and began sprinting through the airport in our thongs. Not ideal footwear for running. Somehow I was in the lead despite having no idea where the gate was. Freya started shouting directions at me to cut through the duty free, take a hard right… I think it is fair to say that onlookers were amused, and we felt we were being punished for our earlier trash talking. We saw the gate number in the distance, both laughing uncontrollably through our ragged breath, we attempted to shout at them not to leave us, waving our arms wildly in the air like absolute lunatics.

We got onto the plane panting and completely disheveled. I wanted answers. And a drink. We caught the attention of one of the flight attendants and asked her how the hell it went from boarding to final call in 60 seconds. Apparently sometimes they start boarding early, and then do last call when most people are on. There are no announcements in the lounge so we were totally unaware of the early boarding. The flight info never changed on the screens.

But we had made it. And then we just sat there. Waiting. A short time later another lady sauntered on without a care in the world. Apparently there had been no need for our Amazing Race response.

We took off at the scheduled time.

Food and Fun

Freya is an excellent host and knows all the best places so I didn’t have to think about a thing.

The first restaurant we hit was Jimmy Wah’s. It was packed and after the food started coming out I understood why. I love Vietnamese food and everything we shared was outstanding.

We also hit up Rick Shores, which was one of my favourite dining experiences of the trip. Right on the water, we had prime seating looking out onto the beach. Sydney really does have some outstanding restaurants and this one was right up there. Yellowtail kingfish, spiced burrata, Moreton Bay bug rolls, wagyu dumplings, Korean chicken… and the cocktails! Lychee martinis and Forbidden Mango, which I had to have because I love Mezcal.

After our long afternoon indulging at Rick Shores, the table was needed and we moved our show to a bar right above the restaurant, the Burleigh Pavillion Bar. More drinks were had and we met a ton of interesting people. Freya is always scouting out men for me, despite my resistance, and it did not take her long to lure a few men over to our table. I was not interested in any of them, but I forced myself to be kind and chat to one awkward guy who didn’t appear to be moving along even though I was paying zero attention to him. He started off awkward and proceeded to get super weird. Telling me that he had to be careful who he talked to, and that people were watching him… Basically I was lucky to have his company.

I finally caught Freya’s eye and we excused ourselves to use the restroom. I asked her if she recognized the guy and went over the odd comments he had been making like he was someone of great power and influence. I eventually managed to shake him and proceeded to meet more odd men. This is why I drink at home.

Next up, Etsu Izakaya. Rick shores was wonderful, but I think Etsu was maybe my favourite, or at least they’re tied. This gem is tucked away behind a single sliding white barn door. I was not expecting the interior I encountered as I walked past the red lantern. What an atmosphere. Neon light signs, murals, and trees fill this narrow room with a smooth curved ceiling. It’s like being inside a Japanese wave. And of course the food was insane. I could have continued eating for sport well after I was full.

 

Adventure Time

Freya had booked us in for a special afternoon at Greenhouse the Bathhouse. It was a lovely drive about 15 minutes from the house. I told her that my friend Bonnie wanted me to send her photos of any wildlife I came across. I had explained to Bonnie that it was highly unlikely I would see anything in the areas I was staying, but told Freya to keep her eyes peeled just in case. As we pulled up to a set of lights Freya screamed and pointed in front of me at the side of the road. A giant Koala.

A giant koala sculpture, I should say. Well, this would have to do. Roll tape. As the light turned green Freya and I reenacted the initial excitement and I panned from her arm to the side of the road as we drove past the human sized bear. I am happy to report that Bonnie loved the video.

We also passed a very interesting store that we thought would make an excellent business if we were ever to take it over. The Rebound Stadium. Need I say more?

I will. I had no idea what the Rebound Stadium was selling, but my first thought was what a great name for a place for newly single folk. I did not have to explain this to Freya as she was already heading down that road. By the time we reached the bathhouse we had a pretty solid business plan put together if ever the day arose that the Rebound Stadium was looking to sell.

But let’s get to Greenhouse the Bathhouse, the reason for this adventure. Time to relax!

We entered the beautiful and tranquil grounds and waited for our time slot. Yes, we were a few minutes early, of course. There was a water circuit, not unlike Bota Bota Spa in Montreal, but without the evil overlords. We started with the hot tub. I love a hot tub. I hate being cold. Then we went into the sauna. Also lovely, but I have to be mindful of steam rooms and saunas because I have melasma and the hyperpigmentation gets worse in the sun and heat.

After our very relaxing soak and sauna we new what we had to do next. The ice bath. Now I knew this was coming before I even left for Australia, but I was expecting to do it with my friend Sonny. He is mad for ice baths and has his own. But here we were. Staring at each other with apprehension.

We figured it was best to just get in right away without hesitating. There is no easing your way into 5 degree water. Hell, I have a hard enough time easing myself into the ocean in the height of the summer.

So in we went, squealing. We sat down, but kept our arms out on the ledge. We lasted about 20 seconds. My shins began to hurt. I don’t know how to describe it. It wasn’t an ache, more like sharp pain. Getting out I had to just stand there for a minute because it hurt too much to walk. Why the hell do people like this? Sickos. 

But we are not quitters, so after another 7 or 8 attempts, and realizing my leg pain would disappear around the 3 minute mark, we made it to 10 minutes. And then we loved it. Sickos.

We celebrated with wine and a few appetizers at their restaurant and called it a day.

Complete Relaxation

Next on the list of fun, facials. I told you, Freya is an excellent host and had made fantastic plans. We headed to La Bella Skin & Body. What a lovely way to spend the afternoon. On route we had a few errands to run, and Freya pointed out something to me that I had not noticed. The fitness women of the Gold Coast have a very unique style. Everywhere you looked, matching biker shorts and sports bras. I’m not sure how this escaped my eye (I actually know exactly how. I am super unobservant. I would be a terrible eye witness), but now that she mentioned it, everywhere I turned, there they were. Like an indigenous species unique to the GC. This instantly reminded me of a game Freya and I used to play in Sydney. We would compete to see who could spot the greatest number of man buns on our coastal walks. Man buns were really in for a while and it was a highly competitive game with us. Speaking of men, the GC men also had a very distinct look.

 

I have gone off topic. The facials. The facials were great, and we were glowing. Feeling super chill we decided we needed to order in that evening, and again, Freya knew just the place. Justin Lane. Oh man, I dream of this sourdough crust.

The One Person I know in the GC

So, it turns out I do know one person in the Gold Coast. My friend Peter. Peter and I used to work together at a school in the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney. I will not name the school as the principal was a raging lunatic and all-around terrible human. I made a lot of good friends while working there though and Peter was one of them. He had since moved out to The Goldie, and was now married with children.

It was awesome to be able to meet up with him for brunch and have a great catch up. Again, I was so excited and having such a lovely time that I totally forget to take a picture of us. But here is an old one.

Location, Location, Location

Freya and Tim have the most beautiful place right on the water and it was wonderful to walk out the door and be straight on the sand.

There were also gorgeous walks and magic surf spots close by. One afternoon we went to Snappers to watch the surfers. One surfer in particular caught our attention. The Jason Momoa lookalike. We didn’t see him surf, but we did watch him shower. I can’t even type that without laughing. He literally showered like it was a slow motion scene in a movie. Coincidentally Freya was filming him. From the second he peeled off his top and shook his hair I was laughing uncontrollably, (a) because it was so dramatic, (b) I was sure he was going to turn around and catch us creeping on him.

We decided it was time to move along before we were asked to leave the area, or the Gold Coast completely. 

It was time to fly anyway. Back to Sydney. And wouldn’t you know it, early boarding once again. Fool us once…

Next Stop, Bronte Beach, Sydney, Australia.